My grief & my purpose

I’m returning this week, finally able to put thoughts into words.

Two weeks ago, my brother-in-law Jim died suddenly. Life was challenging for him, yet he was full of love and laughter. It was around the same time my mother began receiving hospice care.

Last Wednesday I sat with my mom for the last time. As she lay there, I prayed and reflected.

Nancy Benny, 1982, Director of Volunteers

My mother, many years ago, planned her own funeral. From time to time she would revise the plans. One hymn that she wanted my daughter to sing, in celebration of her life, was the Prayer to St. Francis. As I sat with her, knowing she was dying, a line from that hymn ran through my head.

Grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console

I pulled up the song on You-Tube and played it for her. As I listened, I thought about why it mattered so much to me at that moment.

The words, about giving rather than receiving, beautifully reflect how my mother lived her life.

It reminds me of why my mom was called to work with nonprofits and why I followed in her footsteps. A focus on serving, rather than being served, was passed down from my grandmother to my mother, and to me.

Who inspired you to do the good work you do? How did you find your purpose?

As I work through my grief, I feel deeply committed to continuing to fulfill my purpose: to honor, celebrate, and inspire great nonprofit leadership.

I hope you’ll listen to this lovely hymn, even if it is not in your faith practice, the message seems universal to me.

Make me a channel of your peace

Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
And where there’s doubt, true faith in you.

Make me a channel of your peace

Where there’s despair in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness, only light,
And where there’s sadness, ever joy.

Oh, Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand.
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
in giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we’re born to eternal life.

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